品读伍迪艾伦经典搞笑名言-品读名人名言名句,感悟人生哲理、激发内心力量。
以下是天才伍迪艾伦的25句中英搞笑名言..希望大家喜欢!..
woodyallenquotes
1.harvardmakesmistakestoo,youknow.kissingertaughtthere.
2.hewassodepressed,hetriedtocommitsuicidebyinhalingnexttoanarmenian.
3.asthepoetsaid,‘onlygodcanmakeatree,’probablybecauseit’ssohardtofigureouthowtogetthebarkon.
4.iamthankfulforlaughter,exceptwhenmilkcomesoutofmynose.
5.iamnotafraidofdeath,ijustdon’twanttobetherewhenithappens.
6.ibelievethereissomethingouttherewatchingus.unfortunately,it’sthegovernment.
7.idon’thaveto‘freedom-kiss’mywifewhenwhatireallywanttodoisfrench-kissher.
8.idon’twanttoachieveimmortalitythroughmywork.iwanttoachieveitthroughnotdying.
9.ihavebadreflexes.iwasoncerunoverbyacarbeingpushedbytwoguys.
10.itookaspeed-readingcourseandreadwarandpeaceintwentyminutes.itinvolvesrussia
11.iwasnauseousandtinglyallover.iwaseitherinloveorihadsmallpox.
12.i’dcallhimasadistic,hippophilicnecrophile,butthatwouldbebeatingadeadhorse.
13.i’mastoundedbypeoplewhowantto‘know’theuniversewhenit’shardenoughtofindyourwayaroundchinatown.
14.i’msuchagoodloverbecauseipracticealotonmyown.
15.i’mveryproudofmygoldpocketwatch.mygrandfather,onhisdeathbed,soldmethiswatch.
16.ifmyfilmsmakeonemorepersonmiserable,i’llfeelihavedonemyjob.
17.inbeverlyhills…theydon’tthrowtheirgarbageaway.theymakeitintotelevisionshows.
18.lifeisfullofmisery,loneliness,andsuffering-andit’sallovermuchtoosoon.
19.mostofthetimeidon’thavemuchfun.therestofthetimeidon’thaveanyfunatall.
20.myoneregretinlifeisthatiamnotsomeoneelse.
21.someguyhitmyfender,anditoldhim,‘befruitfulandmultiply,’butnotinthosewords.
22.thereareworsethingsinlifethandeath.haveyoueverspentaneveningwithaninsurancesalesman?
23.whatifeverythingisanillusionandnothingexists?inthatcase,idefinitelyoverpaidformycarpet.
24.wheniwaskidnapped,myparentssnappedintoaction.theyrentedoutmyroom.
25.youcanlivetobeahundredifyougiveupallthethingsthatmakeyouwanttolivetobeahundred.
1、哈佛也会犯错，因为基辛格在那儿教过书。
2、他太绝望了，为了自杀他居然要在一个美国人身边呼吸。
3、就像诗人说的：“唯上帝之万能，得以创造树木”，可能是因为实在很难想出来怎么给树穿上树皮。
4、我感谢大笑，除了牛奶从我鼻子里喷出来的时候。
5、我不怕死，只是我不想在它发生的时候呆在那儿。
6、我相信在某个不为人知的地方，有个东西盯着我们。不幸的是，是政府。
7、我不必在想舌吻老婆的时候，来个“自由之吻”（似乎是：反对法国因此把所有french改成freedom）共2页，当前第1页12
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