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iwasslowtounderstandthedeepgrievancesofwomen.Thiswasbecause,asaboy,ihadenviedthem.Beforecollege,theonlypeopleihadeverknownwhowereinterestedinartormusicorliterature,theonlyoneswhoreadbooks,theonlyoneswhoeverseemedtoenjoyasenseofeaseandgracewerethemothersanddaughters.Likethemenfolk,theyfrettedaboutmoney,theyscrimpedandmade-do.But,whenthepaystoppedcomingin,theywerenottheoneswhohadfailed.Nordidtheyhavetogotowar,andthatseemedtomeablessedfact.Bycomparisonwiththenarrow,ironcladdaysoffathers,therewasexpansiveness,ithought,inthedaysofmothers.Theywenttoseeneighbors,toshopintown,torunerrandsatschool,atthelibrary,atchurch.Nodoubt,hadilookedharderattheirlives,iwouldhaveenviedthemless.itwasnotmyfatetobecomeawoman,soitwaseasierformetoseethegraces.Fewofthemheldjobsoutsidethehome,andthosewhodidfilledthanklessrolesasclerksandwaitresses.ididn’tsee,then,whataprisonahousecouldbe,sincehousesseemedtomebrighter,handsomerplacesthananyfactory.ididnotrealize—becausesuchthingswereneverspokenof-howoftenwomensufferedfrommen"sbullying.ididlearnaboutthewretchednessofabandonedwives,singlemothers,widows;butialsolearnedaboutthewretchednessoflonemen.Eventhenicouldseehowexhaustingitwasforamothertocateralldaytotheneedsofyoungchildren.Butifihadbeenasked,asaboy,tochoosebetweentendingababyandtendingamachine,ithinkiwouldhavechosenthebaby.(Havingnowtendedboth,iknowiwouldchoosethebaby.)
Soiwasbaffledwhenthewomenatcollegeaccusedmeandmysexofhavingcorneredtheworld"spleasures.ithinksomethinglikemybafflementhasbeenfeltbyotherboys(andbygirlsaswell)whogrewupindirt-poorfarmcountry,inminingcountry,inblackghettos,inHispanicbarrios,intheshadowsoffactories,inThirdWorldnations—anyplacewherethefateofmenisasgrimandbleakasthefateofwomen.Toilersandwarriors.irealizenowhowancienttheseidentitiesare,howdeepthelugtheyexertonmen,theundertowofathousandgenerations.Themiseriesisaw,asaboy,inthelivesofnearlyallmenicontinuetoseeinthelivesofmany—thebody-breakingtoil,thetedium,thecalltobetough,thehumiliatingpowerlessness,thebattleforalivingandforterritory.
Whenthewomenimetatcollegethoughtaboutthejoysandprivilegesofmen,theydidnotcarryintheirmindsthesortofmenihadknowninmychildhood.Theythoughtoftheirfathers,whowerebankers,physicians,architects,stockbrokers,thebigwheelsofthebigcities.Thesefathersrodethetraintoworkordrovecarsthatcostmorethananyofmychildhoodhouses.Theywereattendedfrommorningtonightbyfemalehelpers,wivesandnursesandsecretaries.Theywereneverlaidoff,nevershortofcashatmonth"send,neverlinedupforwelfare.Thesefathersmadedecisionsthatmattered.Theyrantheworld.共3页，当前第1页123※本文作者：佚名※
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