英语笑话小故事合集

 
英语笑话小故事合集
2016-12-13 12:07:44 /故事大全

引导语:英语,是陪伴每个人从小学到大学的一门学科,甚至有人终身都要学习英语。如果讲英语和笑话结合起来,是否能让你对英语产生浓厚的兴趣呢?下面是由故事亭小编为大家带来的英文小笑话,希望大家喜欢。

heyAreDirectlyfromAmerica

NotlongafteranoldChinesewomencamebacktochinafromhervisittoherdaughterintheSates,shewenttoacitybanktodeposittheU.S.dollarsherdaughtergiveher.Atthebankcounter,themoneywasreal.Itmadyoutofpatience.Atlastshecouidnotholdanymore,uttering:“trustme,Sir,andtrustthemoney.TheyarerealU.S.dollars.They.aredirectlyfromAmerica.”

汉译:

真美钞

一位中国老妇人到美国去看望女儿回来不久,到一家银行取存女儿送给她的美元.在银行柜台,银行职员认真仔细的检查了每一张钞票看,是否有假.这种做法使老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍不住说:“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票.这都是真正的美元,是从美国直接带来的.”

HeWon

Tommy:Howisyourlittlebrother,Johnny?Johnny:Heisillinbed.Hehurthimself.

Tommy:That'stoobad.Howdidthathappen?

Johnny:Weplayedwhocouldleanfurthestoutofthewindow,andhewon.

他赢了

汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?

约翰尼:他害病卧床了.他受了伤.

汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?

约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了.

IHaveHisEarinMyPocket

Ivancamehomewithabloodynoseandhismotherasked,"Whathappened?"

"Akidbitme,"repliedIvan.

"Wouldyourecognizehimifyousawhimagain?"askedhismother.

"I'dknowhimanywhere,"saidIvan."Ihavehisearinmypocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里.他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”

“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说.

“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问.

“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说.“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢.”

AGoodBoy

LittleRobertaskedhismotherfortwocents."WhatdidyoudowiththemoneyIgaveyouyesterday?"

"Igaveittoapooroldwoman,"heanswered.

"You'reagoodboy,"saidthemotherproudly."Herearetwocentsmore.Butwhyareyousointerestedintheoldwoman?"

"Sheistheonewhosellsthecandy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说.“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的.”

Drunk

Oneday,afatherandhislittlesonweregoinghome.Atthisage,theboywasinterestedinallkindsofthingsandwasalwaysaskingquestions.Now,heasked,"What'sthemeaningoftheword'Drunk',dad?""Well,myson,"hisfatherreplied,"look,therearestandingtwopolicemen.IfIregardthetwopolicemenasfourthenIamdrunk."

"But,dad,"theboysaid,"there'sonlyONEpoliceman!"

醉酒

一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家.这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题.他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?”“唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察.如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了.”“可是,爸爸,”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

Hospitality

Thehostessapologizedtoherunexpectedguestforservinganapple-piewithoutanycheese.Thelittleboyofthefamilylefttheroomquietlyforamomentandreturnedwithapieceofcheesewhichhelaidontheguest'splate.Thevisitorsmiled,putthecheeseintohismouthandthensaid:"Youmusthavebettereyesthanyourmother,sonny.Wheredidyoufindthecheese?""Intherat-trap,sir,"repliedtheboy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子.过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里.客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好.你在哪里找到的奶酪?”“在捕鼠夹上,先生.”那小男孩说.

英语小笑话

上个星期五我穿了一件Adidas的衣服去打球,一个老美看到就笑我说,"Doyou

knowwhatdoesitmean?ItmeansAllDayIDreamAboutSex.我整天都在想著

性,缩写正好是Adidas)"我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快,联想力这么丰富时,旁边的

一个老美帮我解围,他说,有一个很著名的合唱团Korn,他们的招牌歌之一就是

A.D.I.D.A.S,(AlldayIdreamaboutsex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟

能详的喔!下次就换你去取笑老美了.

AmangoestochurchandstartstalkingtoGod.Hesays:"God,whatisamilliondollarstoyou?"andGodsays:"Apenny",thenthemansays:"God,whatisamillionyearstoyou?"andGodsays:"asecond",thenthemansays:"God,canIhaveapenny?"andGodsays"Inasecond"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"且话偻蚰昴?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

1,Twobirls

Teacher:Herearetwobirds,oneisaswallow,theotherissparrow.Nowwhocantelluswhichiswhich?

Student:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanswer.

Teacher:Pleasetellus.

Student:Theswallowisbesidethesparrowandthesparrowisbesidetheswallow.

两只鸟

老师:这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀.谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?

学生:我指不出,但我知道答案.

老师:请说说看.

学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子.

2.TheFishNet

"Canyoutellmewhatfishnetismade,Ann?"

"Alotoflittleholestiedtogetherwithstrings."repliedthelittlegirl.

鱼网

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?"老师发问道.

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了."小女孩回答道.

3.TheNewTeacher

GeorgecomesfromschoolonthefirstofSeptember.

"George,howdidyoulikeyournewteacher?"askedhismother.

"Ididn\'tlikeher,Mother,becauseshesaidthatthreeandthreeweresixandthenshesaidthattwoandfourweresixtoo."

新老师

9月1日,乔治放学回到家里.

"乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?"妈妈问.

"妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6,可后来又说2加4也得6."

4.AphysicsExamination

Onceinaphysicsexamination,Nickfinishedthefirstquestionverysoon,whilehisclassmateswerethinkingithard.

Thequestionwas:Whenitthunderswhydoweseethelightingfirst,thenhearthethunderrolls?

Nick\'sanswer:Becauseoureyesarebeforeears.

一次物理考试

在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题.

这个问题是:为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?

尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后.

Jim’sHistoryExamination

Uncle:HowdidJimdoinhishistoryexamination?

Mother:Oh,notatallwell,butthere,itwasn'thisfault.Theyaskedhim

thingsthathappenedbeforethepoorboywasborn.

吉姆的历史考试

舅舅:吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?

母亲:唉,糟透了.可话又说回来,这也不能怪他.嗨,他们尽问一些这个

可怜的孩子出生前的事儿.

Twobrotherswerelookingatsomebeautifulpaintings.

"Look,"saidtheelderbrother."Hownicethesepaintingsare!"

"Yes,"saidtheyounger,"butinallthesepaintingsthereisonlythemotherandthechildren.Whereisthefather?"

Theelderbrotherthoughtforamomentandthenexplained,"Obviouslyhewaspaintingthepictures."

父亲在哪儿?

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!”

“是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”

哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道:“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗。”

Thelittleboydidnotlikethelookofthebarkingdog.

"It'sallright,"saidagentleman,"don'tbeafraid.Don'tyouknowtheproverb:Barkingdogsdon'tbite?"

"Ah,yes,"answeredthelittleboy."Iknowtheproverb,butdoesthedogknowtheproverb,too?"

狗也知道这个谚语吗?

一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:‘吠狗不咬人。’”

“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”

WhentheyoungwaitressinthecaféinTom'sbuildingstartedwavinghelloeveryday.Tomwasflattered,forshewasatleast15yearsyoungerthanhe.OnedayshewavedandbeckonedtoTomagain.WhenTomstrolledover,sheasked,"Areyousingle?"

"Why,yes,"Tomreplied,smilingatherbroadly.

"Soismymom,"shesaid."Wouldyouliketomeether?"

约会

在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋,那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊,因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道,“您现在是单身吗?”

“对,是单身,”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。

“我母亲也是,”她说,“您愿不愿意见见她?”

Bobwashavingtroublegettingtosleepatnight.Hewenttoseehisdoctor,whoprescribedsomeextra-strongsleepingpills.

SundaynightBobtookthepills,sleptwellandwasawakebeforeheheardthealarm.Hetookhistimegettingtotheoffice,strolledinandsaidtohisboss:"Ididn'thaveabitoftroublegettingupthismorning."

"That'sfine,"roaredtheboss,"butwherewereyouMondayandTuesday?"

安眠药

鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生,医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。

星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药,睡得很好,在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室,遛达进去,对老板说:“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”

“好啊!”老板吼道,“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了?”

“Allthekidsmakefunofme”theboycriedtohismother.“TheysayIhaveabighead”

“Don'tlistentothem.”hismothercomfortedhim.“Youhaveabeautifulhead.Nowstopcryingandgotothestorefortenpoundsofpotatoes”

“Where'stheshoppingbag?”

“Ihaven'tgotone,useyourhat.”

大脑袋

“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑,”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说:“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”

“别听他们的,”他妈妈安慰说:“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了,别哭了,去商店买10磅土豆来。”

“购物袋在哪?”

“我没有购物袋,就用你的帽子吧。”

LittleRobertaskedhismotherfortwocents."WhatdidyoudowiththemoneyIgaveyouyesterday?"

"Igaveittoapooroldwoman,"heanswered.

"You'reagoodboy,"saidthemotherproudly."Herearetwocentsmore.Butwhyareyousointerestedintheoldwoman?"

"Sheistheonewhosellsthecandy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Amothermousewasoutforastrollwithherbabieswhenshespottedacatcrouchedbehindabush.Shewatchedthecat,andthecatwatchedthemice.

Mothermousebarkedfiercely,"Woof,woof,woof!"Thecatwassoterrifiedthatitranforit'slife.

Mothermouseturnedtoherbabiesandsaid,"Now,doyouunderstandthevalueofasecondlanguage?"

外语

一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步,突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。

母老鼠向着猫叫道:“汪,汪,汪”,猫听了非常害怕,拼命跑走了。

母老鼠回过头洋洋自得地对孩子说:“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。

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