小故事英语笑话

 
小故事英语笑话
2016-12-13 12:14:02 /故事大全

幽默的人不仅仅会说笑话,还要懂得他人说的笑话,来测试一下你的幽默细胞的指数有多高吧!

小故事英语笑话一:BorrowTheTruck

Awhitegirlcameuptoherdadwhowassittinginabeatenuparmchair."Pa,kinahborrowthetruckto-nahgt?"sheasked.Herdadlookeduptoherandsaid,"Darlin',yewknowwhatyewhaft'doif'nyewwantstoborrerth'truck.""ButPa!Ahhaft'gonaow!"thewhitegirlcried.Herdaddystoodupandunzippedhispants."Yewknowperfectlywellwhatyewhaft'do.Onyerknees,bitch!"Thewhitegirlcompliedandstartedsuckingherdad'scock.Afterafewsecondsshestoppedindisgustandlookeduptoherdad."GeePa,yoredickshoretasteslikeshit!"Herdadslappedhisforheadandsaid,"Dammit,Ahforgot!Ahalreadyloanedthetrucktoyerbrotherjustafewminutesago!"

小故事英语笑话二:Can'tCook

Ayoungcouple,marriedjustacoupleofweeks,returnsfromtheirhoneymoontofacethebeginningoftheirnewlives.

Thenextmorningthehusbandwakesup,showers,dressesandmakeshiswaytothekitchenwhereheseeshisnewwifecrying.Sothehusbandinquires,"What'swrong,Honey?"

"Well,Icamedownherethismorningtosurpriseyouwithabigbreakfast,butIcan'tcookorclean."Thehusbandsmileshisbiggestsmileandsays,"There,theresweetie!Idon'tcarethatyoucan'tcookandclean.ComeonuptothebedroomandI'llshowyouwhatI'dlikeforbreakfast."Soofftheywenttothebedroom.

Thatafternoon,thehusbandcomeshomeforlunchtofindhisnewwifecryingagaininthekitchen."What'swrongnow,Sweetie?""Well,thesamethingasthismorning.IcameinheretomakeyousomethingforlunchandIjustcan'tcook."Againthehusbandsmilesandsays,"Whydon'tyoucomebackuptothebedroomandI'llhavemylunchthere!"Soofftheywenttothebedroomagain.

Thateveningthenewhusbandcomeshome,walksinthehouseandseeshisnewbridenakedslidingdownthebanisterofthestairs.Upsheruns,andWHOOSHdownthebanister.Afterthethirdtripthehusbandasks,"Whatareyoudoing,Honey?""Warmingupyoursupper!"shereplies.

小故事英语笑话三:PussyorBitch

Afterplayingontheplaygroundatschool,Tommycamehomewithsomenewwordsinhisvocabulary.Puzzledatwhattheymeant,hewenttohismother."Mom,what'sapussy?"Notatallshockedbythequestion,sheopenedupanencyclopediaandshowedhimapictureofacat.Hethenasked"What'sabitch?"Onceagain,notatalldisturbed,sheopenedtheencyclopediaandshowedhimapictureofafemaledog.

Confused,littleTommythenwenttohisfather."Dad,what'sapussy?"Hefeltthatitwastimeforhissontolearnaboutlifeandopenedupapornoandcircledtheareabetweenawomanslegs.Enlightened,hethenaskedhim,"Thenwhat'sabitch?"Hisfatherreplied,"Everythingoutsideofthecircle."

小故事英语笑话四:WhoGetsTheDog?

Aclergymanwaswalkingdownthestreetwhenhecameuponagroupofaboutadozenboys,allofthembetween10and12yearsofage.

Thegroupsurroundedadog.Concernedlesttheboyswerehurtingthedog,hewentoverandasked"Whatareyoudoingwiththatdog?"

Oneoftheboysreplied,"Thisdogisjustanoldneighborhoodstray.Weallwanthim,butonlyoneofuscantakehimhome.Sowe'vedecidedthatwhicheveroneofuscantellthebiggestliewillgettokeepthedog."

Ofcourse,theReverendwastakenaback."Youboysshouldn'tbehavingacontesttellinglies!"heexclaimed.Hethenlaunchedintoatenminutesermonagainstlying,beginning,"Don'tyouboysknowit'sasintolie?"andendingwith,"Why,whenIwasyourage,Inevertoldalie."

Therewasdeadsilenceforaboutaminute.JustastheReverendwasbeginningtothinkhe'dgottenthroughtothem,thesmallestboygaveadeepsighandsaid,"Allright,givehimthedog."

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