当听别人说笑话的时候觉得不大好笑，还会觉得冷很冷，可是自己看的时候，却笑到不行，你有这样的经历么?以下的超有趣的英语小笑话，希望能让你欢乐笑不停。
Aguywakesupinadrunkenstupor,openinghiseyesheseesClaudiaSchifferonthebednexttohim.Hethinksthisisalittleodd,ashedoesn'trememberathing,letalonegoingtobedwithher.
Hedecidestogetupandgethimselfadrinkfromthefridge.Hegetstothefridgeandopensthedoorandisfacedwithalargesuitcase.Hetakesthesuitcaseoutofthefridge,putsitonthetableandopensittofind$1Million.
Thisisjustalittletoomuchfortheguywhothinksheislosinghismind.Hewondersifheishallucinating,sohegoestothewindowanddrawsbacktheblind.OutsideonhisfrontlawnistheKluKluxKlananddanglingfromthetreeisanopennoose,empty.Theyappeartobebeckoninghimandshouting.
Nowtheguyisreallyfreakedout,hequicklydrawstheblindandturnsaround.
Inthecornerofhiskitchenisaleprechaun,obviouslydrunkaswell.
Heaskstheleprechaunwhatisgoingon.
"Well,"saystheleprechaun,"Iwasdrunklastnightaswell,andasIwascrossingtheroad,Iwasnearlyrundown.Youranacrosstheroadandpushedmetosafety,soIgrantedyouthreewishesinreturnforsavingme."
"Well,Icanguessthefirstone"saystheguy,"Supermodel,bed,yeahIgotthatone.Whatabouttheothertwo?"
"Themoneyinthefridge?"saystheleprechaun,"Youaskedforacoolmillion."
"Andthemoutthere?"askstheguy,
"Yousaidyouwantedtobehunglikeablackman."
Theyearis2222andMikeandMaureenlandonMarsafteraccumulatingenoughfrequentfliermiles.TheymeetaMartiancoupleandaretalkingaboutallsortsofthings.
MikeasksifMarshasastockmarket,iftheyhavelaptopcomputers,howtheymakemoney,etc.Finally,Maureenbringsupthesubjectofsex."Justhowdoyouguysdoit?"asksMaureen.
TheMartianresponds,"Prettymuchthewayyoudo."Adiscussionensuesandfinallythecouplesdecidetoswappartnersforthenightandexperienceoneanother.
MaureenandthemaleMartiangoofftoabedroomwheretheMartianstrips.He'sgotonlyateeny,weeniemember-abouthalfaninchlongandjustaquarterinchthick."Idon'tthinkthisisgoingtowork,"saysMaureen.
"Why?"heasks,"What'sthematter?"
"Well,"shereplies,"It'sjustnotlongenoughtoreachme!""Noproblem,"hesays,andproceedstoslaphisforeheadwithhispalm.Witheachslapofhisforehead,hismembergrowsuntilit'squiteimpressivelylong.
"Well,"shesays,"That'squiteimpressive,butitisstillnarrow."
"Noproblem,"hesays,andstartspullinghisears.Witheachpull,hismembergrowswiderandwideruntiltheentiremeasurementisextremelyexcitingtothewoman."Wow!"sheexclaims,astheyfellintobedandmademad,passionatelove.Thenextdaythecouplesrejointheirnormalpartnersandgotheirseparateways.
Astheywalkalong,Mikeasks"Well,wasitanygood?"
"Ihatetosayit,"saysMaureen,"butitwasprettywonderful.Howaboutyou?"
"Itwashorrible,"hereplies,"allIgotwasaheadache...shekeptslappingmyforeheadandpullingmyears."
Ahusbandandwifewenttodinnerandcelebratedtheirfiftiethweddinganniversary.Afterwardstheyreturnedhomeandwenttotheirpatiotorelaxwithaglassofwineandtoreflectontheirfiftyyearstogether.
Afterawhilethehusbandsaidtohiswife:Honeyinalltheyearstogether,wasthereeveratimewhenyouwereunfaithfultome?
Thewifethinksforabitandthensays:Ohyestherewasonetimeearlyinourmarriage.Rememberwhenyouhadlostyourjobandthebankwasgoingtoforecloseonthehouse.Imadeatriptotown,sawthebankerandwegottheloanextendeduntilyoureturnedtowork.
Thehusbandthinksforabitandsays:Wowhoney,yousavedourhome;IguessIcan’treallyholditagainstyouforbeingunfaithfulthatonetime.Wasthereeveranothertime?
Thewifethinksforabitandthensays:Ohyestherewasoneothertime.Rememberwhenyouhadgottensickandneededanoperationoryouwoulddie,butwedidn’thaveanyinsurance.Imadeatriptotown,sawthedoctorandyougottheoperation..
Thehusbandthinksforabitandsays:Wowhoney,yousavedmylife;IguessIcan’treallyholditagainstyouforbeingunfaithfulthattimeeither.Wasthereanothertime?
Thewifethinksforabitandthensays:Welltherewasjustoneothertime.Rememberwhenyouwererunningforclubpresidentandyouonlyneeded58morevotes………..
Aladywasfillinghertankatagasstation,smokingacigarette,eventhoughallthesignssaynotto.Thefumesthatcameoutofthegastankignited,severelyburningherhands.
Butitalsolitupherarm,too!
Insteadofrollingonthegroundtoputitout,shepanicked.Shetookoffrunningdownthestreet.
Apolicecarwasattheintersectionwhereithappenedandhetriedtostophertoputoutherarm,butshejustkeptrunningandscreaming.Alltheofficercouldthinkofdoingwastoshoother.Thistookeveryonebysurprise.Theofficerranovertoherandputthefireout,thencalledforanambulance.
Whenquestionedabouthiscourseofactiontostopher,theofficersaid,"Myonlythoughtwastostopher.Afterall,shewaswavingafire-arm."