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lawopenedthebottomdrawerofmysistersbureauandliftedoutatissue-wrappedpackage.this,hesaid,isnotaslip.thisislingerie.hediscardedthetissueandhandedmetheslip.
itwasexquisite,silk,handmadeandtrimmedwithacobweboflace.thepricetagwithanastronomicalfigureonitwasstillattached.
janboughtthisthefirsttimewewenttonewyork,atleast8or9yearsago.sheneverworeit.shewassavingitforaspecialoccasion.
well,iguethisistheoccasion.
hetooktheslipfrommeandputitonthebed,withtheotherclothesweweretakingtothemortician.hishandslingeredonthesoftmaterialforamoment,thenheslammedthedrawershutandturnedtome,donteversaveanythingforaspecialoccasion.everydayyourealiveisaspecialoccasion.
irememberedthosewordsthroughthefuneralandthedaysthatfollowedwhenihelpedhimandmynieceattendtoallthesadchoresthatfollowanunexpecteddeath.ithoughtaboutthemontheplanereturningtocaliforniafromthemidwesterntownwheremysistersfamilylives.ithoughtaboutallthethingsthatshehadntseenorheardordone.ithoughtaboutthethingsthatshehaddonewithoutrealizingthattheywerespecial.
imstillthinkingabouthiswords,andtheyvechangedtheweedsinthegarden.imspendingmoretimewithmyfamilyandfriendsandletimeincommitteemeetings.wheneverpossible,lifeshouldbeapatternofexperiencetosavour,notendure.imtryingtorecognizethesemomentnowandcherishthem.
imnotsavinganything;weuseourgoodchinaandcrystalforeveryspecial.eventsuchaslosingapound,gettingthesinkunstopped,thefirstcamelliablossom…iwearmygoodblazertothemarketififeellikeit.mytheoryisifilookprosperous,icanshellout$28.49foronesmallbagofgrocerieswithoutwincing.imnotsavingmygoodperfumeforspecialparties;clerksinhardwarestoresandtellersinbankshavenosesthatfunctionaswellasmypartygoingfriends.
somedayandoneofthesedaysarelosingtheirgriponmyvocabulary.ifitsworthseeingorhearingordoing,iwanttoseeandhearanddoitnow.imnotsurewhatmysisterwouldvedonehadsheknowthatshewouldntbehereforthetomorrowwealltakeforgranted.
ithinkshewouldhavecalledfamilymembersandafewclosefriends.shemighthavecalledafewformerfriendstoapologize,andmendfencesforpastsquabbles.iliketothinkshewouldhavegoneoutforachinesedinner,herfavoritefood.imguessing.illneverknow.