笑一笑，十年少，小编为大家整理了初中英语笑话故事大全,希望大家能展颜一笑,记得每天都要开心一刻哦!嘻嘻!
OsamaBinLaden,aCanadian,andPresidentBushwerewalkingdownthestreetwhentheysawagoldenlamp.Theyrubbeditandageniecameoutandsaid,"Iwillgranteachoneawishthat’s3together."TheCanadiansaid,"IamafatherandmysonwillbeafarmersoIwantthesoilinCanadatobeforeverfertile."Thegeniesaidthemagicwordsandthewishcametrue.OsamalookedamazedsohewishedforawallaroundAfghanistanthegeniesaidthemagicwordsandagainthewishcametrue.PresidentBushsaid"Genie,tellmemoreaboutthiswall,"thegeniesaid,”It’s50feetthickand500feettallsonothingcangetinandnothingcangetout."PresidentBushsaid,”Wow!That’sabigbridge...Fillitwithwater!!!
拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"
Mrs.Greenwaseighty，butshehadasmallcar，andshealwaysdrovetotheshopsinitonSaturdayandboughtherfood.
Shedidnotdrivefast，becauseshewasold，butshedrovewellandneverhitanything.Sometimeshergrandchildrensaidtoher，“Pleasedon'tdriveyourcar，grandmother.Wecantakeyoutotheshops.”
Butshealwayssaid，“No，Ilikedriving.I'vedrivenforfiftyyears，andI'mnotgoingtostopnow.”
LastSaturdayshestoppedhercaratsometraffic-lightsbecausetheywerered，andthenitdidnotstartagain.Thelightsweregreen，thenyellow，thenred，
thengreenagain，buthercardidnotstart.
“WhatamIgoingtodonow?”Shesaid.
Butthenapolicemancameandsaidtoherkindly，“Goodmorning.Don'tyoulikeanyofourcolourstoday?”
格林太太八十岁了。她有一辆小型轿车，每逢星期六她总是开着这辆车去购买食品。
因为年纪大了，格林太太车子开得不快，不过她开车技术很高，从来没有出过事。有时她的孙子孙女们对她说：“奶奶，您别开车了，我们可以送您去商店。”
但她总是说：“不，我喜欢开车。我已经开了五十年了，现在还不想撒手。”
上星期六，她看见交通灯是红色就刹住了车。后来车子熄火了。交通灯由绿色转为黄色，然后转为红色，又转变为绿色，可她的车子还是发动不起来。
“现在我该怎么办呢?”她说。
这时一位警察走过来，和气地对她说：“早上好，今天交通灯的颜色没有一样您喜欢吗?”
Amaninahotairballoonrealizedhewaslost.Hereducedaltitudeandspottedawomanbelow.Hedescendedabitmoreandshouted,"Excuseme,canyouhelp?IpromisedafriendIwouldmeethimanhourago,butIdon'tknowwhereIam."
Thewomanbelowreplied,"Youareinahotairballoonhoveringapproximately30feetabovetheground.Youarebetween40and41degreesnorthlatitudeandbetween59and60degreeswestlongitude."
"Youmustbeanengineer,"saidtheballoonist.
"Iam,"repliedthewoman."Howdidyouknow?"
"Well,"answeredtheballoonist,"everythingyoutoldmeistechnicallycorrect,butIhavenoideawhattomakeofyou,andthefactisIamstilllost.Frankly,you'venotbeenmuchhelpsofar."
Thewomanbelowresponded,"Youmustbeinmanagement."
"Iam,"repliedtheballoonist,"buthowdidyouknow?"
"Well,"saidthewoman,"youdon'tknowwhereyouareorwhereyouaregoing.Youhaverisentowhereyouare,duetoalargequantityofhotair.Youmadeapromisewhichyouhavenoideahowtokeep,andyouexpectpeoplebeneathyoutosolveyourproblems.Thefactisyouareinexactlythesamepositionyouwereinbeforewemet,butnow,somehow,it'smyfault!"
一个男人在热气球上，发现自己迷失了方向。他下降高度，下方有一个妇女。他又下降了一点，大声呼喊,"打扰下，你能帮个忙吗，一个小时以前我答应了一个朋友要和他见面，但现在我不知道我身处何地。”
妇女在下面回答，“你在一个热气球里，大约离地面三十英尺。你在北纬40-41度之间，西经59-60度之间。”
“你必定是个工程设计师，”气球上的男人说。
“我是，”女人回答。“你是怎么知道的?”
“是这样，”气球上的男人说“你告诉我的事在技术上都是正确的，但是我无法理解你的看法，事实是我依旧迷失。坦白说，到目前为止你没帮上我多少。”
下面的妇女回应道，“你一定是在管理部门工作。”
“我是，”气球上的男人回答，“这你是怎么知道的?”
“是啊，”妇女说，“你总是不知道你在哪里，也不知道你要去哪里。你的上升，是由于大量的热气。你对别人许下的承诺，你不知道如何履行，而且你还期望在你下面的人会解决你的问题。事实就是在我们见面之前，我们都在完全相同的立场上，可现在，不知怎么地，却成了我的错了。”
Ahusbandandwifewerehavingdinnerataveryfinerestaurantwhenthisabsolutelystunningyoungwomancomesovertotheirtable,givesthehusbandabigkiss,saysshe'llseehimlaterandwalksaway.
Hiswifeglaresathimandsays,"Whothehellwasthat?"
"Oh,"repliesthehusband,"she'smymistress."
"Well,that'sthelaststraw,"saysthewife."I'vehadenough,Iwantadivorce."
"Icanunderstandthat,"repliesherhusband,"butremember,ifwegetadivorceitmeansthatyoudon'tgetanymoreshoppingtripstoParis,nomorewinteringinBarbados,nomoresummersinTuscany,nomoreFerrarisandLexus'sinthegarageandnomoreyachtclub.Butthedecisionisyours."
Justthen,amutualfriendenterstherestaurantwithagorgeousbabeonhisarm.
"Who'sthatwomanwithJim?"asksthewife.
"That'shismistress,"saysherhusband.
"Oursisprettier,"shereplies.